Third Letter to Honey .

 

Tuesday, June 06, 2000

 

 

My Dear Honey,

I hope that my letter finds you well and strong, and thinking clearly.

Laza asked me to drop you a note, because you are continuously asking

For me to write you.

 

Why ask someone else to ask me to write you ?

You have hands and postage, and letter writing materials,

Use them for your own purposes, do-not manipulate others kind hearts.

 

Personally I don’t have much to say to you because I am still angry with you

Even after almost 15 years.  It’s hard to let this kind of pain and anger go when, the other person refuses to admit to their part in the whole mess.  You are still living in Some illusionary world that tells you that time has stood still, and that when you get out Everything will just be magically gone and forgiven. Forget It.

 

I am pissed off daily when I think about how you treated me, Really.

You lied to me, at every chance and juncture that you came to with me.

You refused me help when I called you, when my wallet was stolen,

Right after I got back home , and had no money.  Yet earlier in the same week you had the nerve to ask me to go to the scene of the crime, and be the Victim.  I must look like a MF Fool to you.  Sorry, Wrong Person.

 

One thing about me you Can count on,

I am not a member of the Id-io-t team, unlike dead lulu.

And “Newsflash” I am not one of the world’s stupidest bitches, waiting on Jailmeat. I Got A Life, cause you didn’t want one, won’t stop Mine.

Remembering back to the day that you passed me standing at that phone booth on the corner and you had that woman in the car, that I did not know was Lulu, Makes me want to vomit, and then Kick the Shit out of Your Ass. You deserve it. Everything good that I tried to do for you, you purposely cheapened to casual sex. Sorry Honey, Casual Sex I Ain’t. but I guess you musta finally figured that one out by now, huh Doc  ?

 

I also think back to when you were supposed to be taking me to the airport in NYC, and instead you forced me to ride along with you and skelly to Florida, unknowingly. You are really lucky that you have a friend like Laza, who cares enough for you to even ask me to write your sorry ass.  You abused me like it was a sport, so now Call yourself the champion because you are the only one to ever treat me the way you Did, and believe that it hasn’t and “WON’T ever happen to me again, ever.

 

I remember the first day I met you, and the only thing on your mind was my ass. Not the fact that I was a Smart, Nice, Righteous Sister who came to you with all the best intentions and with your Friend Laza. You had no respect from the start. I should have been more forthcoming then and told you to suck your own dick. Guess I was blinded by the bullshit and smoke.

 

The hopes and dreams that I had for us, all built on my misconceptions, directed by your venomous lies. You are a sad example for a Blackman. I am not proud to say that I know you, or even more so that I was involved with you. I remember flying to New York to come to Rikers Island to see you caged. You were in court, with not a Wife, Family member, or Friend other than Me. Not even your suck ass lawyer came to represent you.

 

You set all this in motion and by doing it; you should have known then that the garbage Disposal would be your final destination. You need to understand the real ramifications of your actions on everyone involved.

 

Grow Up Honey, I did.
If this letter moves you toward Reality, Then you feel free to write back,
“When you have Realized.”

 

~RE