Kismit,, Really

Nile Dvine Oct 7, 2003
31 years a woman today.

Again I'm writing about my experiences with Kismit.
That elusive yet wonderful feeling of elation from
a predetermined event, that you just happen into.

I have to use the term loosly this time
since I want to describe a feeling more than anything else.

It's like Sunshine all of a sudden pouring down onto you
from within a rain cloud. that rainbow in the sky type of
un effectable excitement - destined just for you; Perfection.

I'm talking about my satisfaction in my friendship with my
ocean moon. I'm the lake moon, and he shows me a deeper
side of myself. a side that makes me reach deeper into the
dark lusciousness of my own hot wetness.

I can call him on the phone and have a fast chat
on multiple levels that provide such satisfaction that
I dare not challenge its deliciousness with a taudry
tidbit of cheap possibility.

knowing that I am desired, like the Moon..
like the water that washes up onto the beach..
like the very warmth that begins inside of oneself.
Desire, in it's most perfected forms.

a simple touch, or the sound of a voice -
these sublime pleasures that fill me to
satisfaction, in my sea of discontent.

I've longed to make choices,
and to be chosen.
now it has happened,
finally.

I feel unlike I did 32 years ago
when I gave my virginity to the man
who would forever change my life.
He gave me such joy that the pain
was pure rapture.

I will never forget the pain
and the blood, the mixing of
our spirits - forever.
he gave me my initiation into
womanhood, with love and tenderness.
he didn't rush me or into me.
he took his time, and made my
enjoyment his enjoyment.
now I know how that formed
my realities as a woman.
a fully feeling sensual woman.

a woman who walks on the beach
in the water in the light of the moon..
and feels it's warm embrace draw her
back to where her joy all began, within..