In the savannahs of my heart, there is a place where I do not venture often.
It is for fear - that I avoid this place.
It's pain and reminders of stupidity make me physically ill.
I call it Gameland;
It is the place where all failed relationships end up;
regardless of how they started.
They always seem to find their way to Gameland..
broken tokens of love and dreams lay tattered and smashed
with permanent intention. There is no escape from Gameland.
It's a magical kind of place where you can stand next to
what looks like the man of your dreams
and see your nightmares unfold.
You put on your magical pink panties and rapturous red lipstick
only to meet yourself leaving as you come..
over and over and over, we come to this horrible torturous place.
But why ?
What is it that draws us to this ugly crowded abyss ?
Is it to see the minstrel show of every kind of follow fashion
monkey ass game that can be played.
From Old Skool to New Jack Fool;
from fake designers to ghetto purse pools;
from dreams of a chocolate ruse' to getting involved in massive pools of bullshit and hatefulness; from it's played out beginnings of smiles and kindness; to the unrealistic lies that close out all possibilities, Why ?
This is the place I never want to go.
So why the hell do I always end up here ?
Is it because I choose the wrong choices each time;
Picking A or B or C.. ??
Damnn Why can't I just find Mr. Right For Me ??
Why do I look for Mr. Right, only to end up with Mr Gone ?
What makes men so simplistic that they just can't face their own choices ?
Is it knowing that eventually they all have to move on to face what they have done ?
Is it Red tonite, or Pink or how about Black.. Jack.
Pick a color, any color..
It's just another part of the fantasy that fails to evolve to anything tangible;
beyond a fast fifteen minutes of frayed nerves and spoiled promises.
How typical. How very very clear.
But why do I still go there,
I just keep wondering what makes me eventually end back up here eachtime.
Except this time, it's a little different.
I'm gonna look at why I went there;
instead of closing my eyes and letting my stupid blind heart drag my tired faithless ass down into a bottomless pit of misery and deception.
No More.. No More, No More.
That's it for me, I'm out, I'm giving it up for good.
No More of This Faithless adventure to Hell,
and no more playing with the Broken Toys, In Gameland..
I think leaving them to their own devices is good enough...
I done got my self satisfaction, finally.